Carol and Kirk’s Last Supper
From Sacred Rituals to New Life
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Carol and Kirk’s Last Supper
From Sacred Rituals to New Life
For Carol Kassner, a retired professor focused on the spirituality of aging, death is part of life's cycle. After years of helping others prepare for life's final transition, she thought she understood what to expect.
But when her husband Kirk received a diagnosis of acute myeloid leukemia, everything changed.
Within five weeks of his diagnosis, Kirk was gone. Through the shock and grief, Carol discovered that their choice to use Earth Funeral's soil transformation process would become a source of profound comfort and meaning.
A Journey Through Options
Carol's path to Earth Funeral began with rejection. "I never wanted to be in a coffin," she explains. Like many couples, she and Kirk initially considered cremation, even including it in their will.
But Carol's environmental consciousness began to weigh on her. "I started hearing about how much pollution cremation causes," she says. Green burial seemed logical, but practical concerns arose. "I don't want to be in a cemetery. Besides, it would still take a long time for my body to disintegrate."
The Discovery
When Carol and Kirk first learned about Earth Funeral just over a year ago, the decision was immediate and unanimous. "We went and saw the whole operation, learned how everything worked," Carol remembers. "We both looked at each other and said, 'This is it. Absolutely.' There was no doubt."
They wrote a check on the spot. "Not only does it make sense environmentally, it makes sense economically," Carol explains. "It's a reasonable cost."
As world travelers who spent winters in Mexico, they appreciated the worldwide travel protection, covering transport costs from anywhere in the world.
A Sacred Goodbye
Kirk chose to die at home using Washington's death with dignity law. Carol crafted a ritual that honored their values and relationship. "All our kids and close friends participated," she describes. "Kirk was sitting up in our bed hearing all these blessings."
The days leading up to Kirk's death were filled with connection. "The kids sat around telling stories, looking at old pictures. I'd lay in bed with him and read the amazing emails and letters people had sent. We'd cry, and then he'd say, 'That was so beautiful,' and we'd cry some more."
Even Kirk's love of food found its place in the farewell. Though cancer medications had destroyed his ability to taste, "his taste buds returned when he got home because he wasn't on any meds. So his children, who are fabulous cooks, fixed him everything he loved. Kirk's last supper lasted for several nights."
Dignity in Death
When Earth Funeral's team arrived to collect Kirk's body, the contrast with Carol's previous experiences was striking. "They wheeled in a platform and laid Kirk's body on it. Then they turned and looked at me and said, 'Our next step is to wrap Kirk's body. Are you ready?'"
The memory still moves Carol to tears. "The respect they showed Kirk's body, the respect they showed me and the other grieving people present, was so different from what I experienced when my mom died. It was the culmination of all that we tried to do—to have this be a respectful, loving, tender, sacred experience."
The Gift of Soil
An Earth Funeral Director supported Carol through each step of Kirk's soil transformation. The day Carol received word that "Kirk's soil transformation is completed," she burst into tears—not from sadness, but from the profound meaning of the moment. Kirk's children, who are gardeners, will take the soil. "Kirk gave them money to take some of the soil to different places in the world where Kirk has lived and traveled, and to actually put it in gardens."
Kirk's soil will nourish land in his favorite places: Washington, Germany, Italy, France, and Mexico.
Carol has her own plans. She told her children, "I'm going to have my soil on the Olympic Peninsula at Earth Funeral's conservation site. I'm saving some of Kirk's soil, because I want you to combine it with mine."
Full Circle
"Dying enabled the living; the aged fueled the young. I imagined the flow of energy from the Mother Trees as powerful as the ocean tide… as unstoppable as a mother protecting her child."
— Suzanne Simard, Finding the Mother Tree
Carol's choice connects to her understanding of the natural world. "I had read 'Finding the Mother Tree', which inspired me so much. When I found out that Earth Funeral could put my soil in the forest and help use nutrients from my body to assist forest growth—I was thrilled."
The Olympic Peninsula holds special significance. "The Olympic National Forest is the largest rainforest in the continental United States. We need to… help things continue growing there," Carol shared. "If I can be part of that process, it will make me very happy."
Looking Forward
Though Carol doesn't "want to die immediately," she faces the future with unusual peace. "If it happened tomorrow, that would be okay."
Her enthusiasm extends beyond personal choice. "I am taking the Earth newsletter and sending it all over the country." She's become an informal educator, "gently educating people about the beauty of this process and the environmental sensitivity."
For Carol, the choice represents something profound. "I look at it as a privilege and a gift. Full circle will go back to the earth." In a world where death often feels like an ending, Carol has found a way to make it a beginning—nurturing the forest she loves with the very essence of the life she's lived.
"It's the new wave," Carol says with conviction. "The fact that Earth Funeral is doing it with such sensitivity to the challenges that the living family has—it just makes it even better, even more meaningful."
More Lasting Legacies
Todd's Gift: Starting the Conversation
Facing a terminal diagnosis, Todd Warner made end-of-life plans for himself, his wife, and her father—turning a difficult conversation into a gift of relief for his whole family. Now he's on a mission to show others that talking openly about death makes it less scary for everyone.
I See Life In This Plant
After Kenneth's passing, Dianne found healing through Earth Funeral's human composting process. She mixed his soil into a struggling houseplant that flourished, creating what she calls "a slow goodbye" and keeping his presence alive in their home.
Eternal Love in the Garden
After 53 years of marriage, Emily honors Wayne's love for nature by transforming him into soil, nurturing their cherished circle garden and planning a new memorial space that captures his adventurous spirit.
